Long Time No See


Almost a year and a half since I've posted here. Man, does time fly when you're having fun or what? :)

Things are changing in my life. We have a new "supervisor" at work, who has no experience in the field I work in whatsoever. This person was brought in despite there being two of us working for this bunch who have thirty-four years of aggregate experience between us and who are more than capable of doing the job. They're telling us now that this person was brought in because we're in such a mess an outside viewpoint is -required- to fix all the problems. Nice to know your employer thinks you're incompetent, eh?

On the other hand, two more classes and I'll be done with my Associate's degree. Time to set my sights on my Bachelor's now! (Hey, if I'm incompetent, why am I able to complete a college degree?)

Finally, snow! The weathermonkeys say there's a good chance of the white stuff today and tomorrow. This should make things interesting on the roads tomorrow as most folks have -no- idea how to drive in snow...

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Albus The Gay Sorcerer
(No, NOT slash!)
This story is not HBP nor DH compatible, and ignores a bunch of things from OOTP as well. It was inspired by one of my favorite movies.

After having managed to successfully wreck wizarding society by the latter half of 1999, Voldemort set his sights more fully on the Muggle world. The Muggles, Voldemort knew, were sufficiently numerous to be a threat to his designs of a new world order, especially given their technology. The Dark Lord created a spell intended to envelop the globe in a low-level magic field, one sufficiently powerful enough to disrupt the electronics so much of Muggle technology was dependent upon. Voldemort then planned to take advantage of the resulting chaos to reduce or eliminate any Muggle resistance to his rule, the better to impose his will on wizard and Muggle alike.

His plans were to come to fruition on Hogmanay, 31 December 1999. Voldemort’s ritual was timed to culminate at the stroke of midnight – his “Hogmanay gift to the filthy Muggle scum” – but was interrupted by a team of Aurors led by Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived. The Battle of Stonehaven was short but intense, ending at ten minutes to midnight with the final destruction of Voldemort. Harry Potter somehow managed to refocus Voldemort’s planned magic field solely on the Dark Lord himself, and the resulting concentration of magical energy was enough to bring a final end to the Dark Lord’s dreams of conquest. Many of Voldemort’s strongest supporters, such as the Lestranges and Malfoys, were destroyed as well…

-- Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts, LXXII Edition, excerpt from Chapter MMCLXIV, Defeat of the Dark Lord Voldemort

The Reign of Shadows or, as it is sometimes known, the Second War (of Voldemort), can be said to have begun in June of 1995 with the Resurrection of Voldemort and was ended by the final defeat of the dark wizard by the young Auror Harry Potter on 31 December 1999. (For more on this period, please refer to Chapters LXVII -- XCIX.) The damage done to wizarding society of the time by this conflict was incalculable, culminating in the wrecking of the wizarding economy in 1998 with the Death Eater assault on London’s Diagon Alley and the sacking of Gringotts Bank. The destruction of the Ministry of Magic in October of 1999 emphasized the tenor of the times, making the chaos of the following quarter-century an inevitability rather than the possibility that existed in the latter half of 1998. The total elimination of the government that year, coupled with the mysterious disappearance of Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore in 1998, left the wizarding world adrift with no able leader immediately available…at least, no such leader then acceptable to the majority of wizardkind. After twenty years of fits and starts, the last scion of the Black family, Sirius Black, had managed to convince a majority of the remaining powerful family Heads to support him as Minister of Magic…

-- Modern Magical History, Introduction to Chapter CCXXXII, page 10345

Taking The Plunge

Okay, not doing a NaNoWriMo. But I am going to take the plunge and write something, to see if I still can. I'm hoping if I post it here, people will see it and twit me if I don't start writing.

I announce: Harry Potter: Seconds From Disaster. More will be posted here as I make it up.



...this title has put fear in the hearts of many a wanna-be writer. I, like many, have tried and failed. So this year I'm going to forego quantity for quality. My novel will be a historical...

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What If George W. Got Fed Up?

A friend of mine sent me this the other day. It's a fictional speech that the President could make if he got fed up with all the idiots in the country.

Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans." Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people.

I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil" thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered'. Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named 'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because, fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11th. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor'.

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on ABC or NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch "American Idol".

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it.

She has already proposed the following appointments:

Chuck Shumer- Vice President

John Murtha - Secretary of Defense

John Kerry - Secretary of State

Barrack Obama -UN Ambassador

Al Gore-Energy

Harry Reid- Homeland Security

Al Sharpton- Health, Education & Welfare

John Edwards - Attorney General

Ted Kennedy - Labor

John Corzine- Treasury

Hillary Clinton - Special Counsel to the President (for double-checking all other appointees)

Bill Clinton/Jimmy Carter - Chief Presidential Advisors

Jesse Jackson - Special Assistant on African American Affairs

Watch what these folks do carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America . Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.

There's a lot of truth in this. I sincerely hope that 51% of America wakes up and realizes it before things pass the point of no return.